Problem solved: Had the American Airlines passenger allegedly head-bonked with a baby stroller been on the United Airlines flight where a physician had his own problems a few days earlier, police could have put Dr. Doom in said stroller and wheeled him safely off the plane.
Easter parades and chocolate bunnies make the day for some folks, but I must admit, what warmed my heart this month was that photo of Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock at the White House, posing almost stoically in front of Hillary Clinton's oh-so-o-o-o-o "presidential" portrait as First Lady. Time hasn't passed all that much since the 2016 election, but already Hillary's albeit colorful image looks like something out of the Dorian Gray playbook. In contrast to Dorian's predicament, however, we suspect Ms. Clinton's reputation, not her portrait, will turn rancid as years pass. And what about a new book out there, insisting that she spied on her own staff (e-mails and such)? Allegedly, a very unflattering image of Queen Hil' emerges.
Yet, as merely a curiosity cat who chased the UFO subject for enough years to keep wondering, there's something I don't wonder about: Had Queen Hil' and the Great God -- and welcome wagon for his own e-mail hacks -- John Podesta ended up at the White House this time around, the faithful among the UFO "disclosure" faction would still be waiting, and waiting a long time for decisive actions to end all actions. One would have more success holding a seance and summoning the spirit of the late Dr. Edward U. Condon for his insider's opinion about UFOs.
Which brings us to Saturday's "March for Science," featuring sign-carrying science lovers gathered all over the country. Also present was "Bill Nye, the science guy," not to be confused with the seance guy we mentioned in the last paragraph. Anyway, isn't Nye an engineer, rather than the sort of person one beckons when conjuring the image of a scientist holding test tubes or looking through a microscope? Nye's views on, oh, say -- climate change, for instance -- who should care? I mean, wouldn't his vast knowledge -- as an engineer -- be better put to use building Trump's wall on the Mexican border? Imagine how many scientific disbelievers in man-made climate change failed to attend due to fear for their lives and professional reputations.
We discovered that these coast-to-coast exercises in the support of "science," originally promised to be apolitical in nature, often ended up condemning Trump because. . . marchers appreciate his love of the scientific method?
Bill O'Reilly's big kiss-off: Never doubt the power of women. We don't know what happened per the alleged incidents, but we are starting to wonder WTF it is with more and more of these all-female "flash mob" lawsuits in which each participant receives at least a million dollars to make them feel better about instances of. . .of what? Words? Crude comments?
And that brings us to tort reform legislation, which will never happen. By the way, notice all the TV commercials for class action lawsuits brought against seemingly every product under the sun? We can barely remember a time when the USA hosted so many greedy attorneys in pursuit of every banana that falls off the tree of life.
Another asteroid shoots past Earth, too close for comfort and presumably the size of three football fields. Forget about marijuana, someday the whole planet may be properly "stoned" as we all make a hasty exit forever. Except for humans living on the moon and Mars, of course, depending upon asteroid trajectory. In the meantime, we Americans patiently wait for Yellowstone to blow, showering lava, rocks and death over several states. Its eruption, according to historical records, is way overdue. Umbrellas will not help.
The return of Obama: He's b-a-a-a-ck, as are my wishes that somebody should arrest and hold him responsible for his actions as President. Surely, the difference between the oath of office he took and his "accomplishments" are astronomical. So now he's returned to Chicago, appropriately an historical and traditional mob hangout. He intends, among other things, to help shape the leaders of tomorrow. Great. We certainly need more Marxists and a refill of rot-infested leadership in a Democrat cult tempered by extremists more than invisible "blue dog" representatives. Meanwhile, Obama worshippers everywhere have rejoined the hive. Obama's return occurs just as. . .
Stink-tuary cities come under fire by the Trump administration. Just as the Obama bunch labored to keep "sanctuary cities" sanctuaries, Trump now strives to undue progressive damage. Though he seems to have caved on "dreamers" apparently allowing them to remain in the country, we hope he and AG Sessions toss out their parents and the uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents and whatever other relatives and friends their families brought into the country illegally. AG Jeff Sessions -- do your job. And don't forget anchor babies (Congress, are you listening?).
UPDATE: Seems that the courts just told Trump he cannot withhold funds for sanctuary cities. Appeals will encompass a slow process, but this is further proof of how progressive government spider webs were intended to please only the crazy lib side of the aisle.
"Loss of habitat" for wildlife continues to be a subject favored in news reports. Are we and the "developing" world smart enough to preserve a significant portion of this planet for creatures who are not us? The answer is overwhelmingly no, in my opinion.
Media: How many mutual sessions among TV network owners were held over the years to get it all just right -- to make sure that every broadcast station in the country offers its commercials at almost the same exact moment as the others? Worse, even radio stations have caught on now, throwing in sponsor messages almost simultaneously with TV stations.
We truly appreciate sponsored programs, but the situation is well out of hand now, with commercials abundant and more annoying than ever. How to get revenge? There is no really good solution, though I suppose one can write stations and sponsors, promising to take one's business to competitors who (1) don't spend money on expensive TV/radio advertising consumers will have to pay for, (2) may provide better service and (3) may possess a better reputation. When thinking of TV/radio advertising, contemplate multiple commercials which show up touting new movies -- new movies so bad that even excessive TV publicity can't save these box office disasters. In essence, the more a movie is advertised, the worse it is. As TV stations struggle to remain profitable while the audience enjoys so many other options, systematically shoving ads down viewers' oropharynx in every way possible, we suggest that this approach is neither good business nor capable of maintaining audience loyalty.
In somewhat related news, the purchasers of Clear Channel Communications and other broadcast entities are alleged in new revelations to be facing bankruptcy. Again, we suggest that dive-bombing the viewers/listeners with commercials isn't necessarily the solution to success. Options and alternative choices are too abundant to assure guarantees for any media player.
Chipping away: You know that little chip you plan to let them implant under your skin, the chip allowing you do make all your transactions without cards, numbers or cumbersome carry-with-you documentation? Have fun -- but don't be surprised when the chip sends your brain TV commercials 24 / 7. No hiding or private time for yourself allowed, either.
The White House Correspondents Dinner will go on minus President Trump this year. Good. This annual event has always exuded the sleazy little odor of a media too cozy with government, an obvious display concealed somewhat with comedy. But -- good news! Obama seems to be available again, so why doesn't the national press bring him back to this by-invitation-only gala affair and pretend he's still the prez? Just like old times, and leftists everywhere will thank the press for its accommodation.