Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Job Interview

As October and Halloween approach, I discovered that it's already Obama-ween, and it's been Obama-ween for nearly five years. . .

The Job Interview
by Robert Barrow
Copyright 2013 by R. Barrow

"Okay. . .and are you married, divorced or single?"


"Oh, I am sorry, sir.  I didn't think you. . ."

"Don't worry about it.  It happens all the time.  I don't look old enough to. . ."

"Yes, well, have you any children?"

"Not anymore."


"A boy and a girl -- they died young."

"They. . . deceased as well?  That's, that's tragic beyond words.  Illness?"

"Not exactly.  But something, I guess you could say, terminal."

"How. . .how long were you married?"

"My wife and I were together for almost eight years."

"Where did you wed?"

"Well, we weren't married by society's rules.  It was a common law relationship."

"Then you and your family aren't listed in any public records?"


"So, you two had children during those years."

"That's right."

"Surely, they attended school?"

"Home school."

"I'm sorry to sound as though I'm prying, sir, but I have to ask these questions?"

"I understand."

"What happened to your wife?  Was she ill?"

"No.  We merely parted ways."

"I. . .I'm a bit confused, sir.  First you said you were a widower, and now you tell me you parted ways?"

"Correct.  Our time together became unpleasant as years progressed.  There was no other solution but separation."

"And. . .your children?"

"Very, very disappointing.  A man has a right to expect his children to be good."

"What happened to them?"

"When my wife and I broke up, the children broke up as well."

"But you said they were ill."

"No, you said they were ill."

"So your wife and children left at the same time, before her death and theirs?"


"You broke up and considered yourself divorced?"

"I prefer to say that we ended the relationship first, and then did the breakup after parting."

"Yes, the breakup. . ."

"Yes.  You might call it a separation, the ultimate separation."

"Can you be any more specific about the termination of your -- common law? -- marriage?"

"Only insofar as our lives changed and her. . .and their. . .obligation to me was split asunder."

"Obligation?  You look upon your family's actions as an obligation to you?"

"Of course."

"But you say your former wife is dead -- and your children, too?  How?  Why?  What happened?"

"I think we just sorted that out, did we not?"

"Then. . .you. . .murdered your. . .?

"I never used that word!"

"Sir, this all sounds very suspicious and. . ."

"I told you almost everything!  We parted ways and we separated, then broke up and our relationship was split asunder!  My wife, my children, they all hated me!  To hell with them!"

"Almost everything?"  There was more?"

"It was the end!  After all was said and done, the relationship was dissolved and that was that!"

"Sir, I don't know if you're joking with me or -- well, in any event, the job may only be 15 hours a week, but I don't think we can hire you.  I have to insist that you leave.  Now."

"To hell with you all!" shouted the man, storming out of the office. 

Two hours later, still unemployed, the man drove his old pickup into the junk-filled yard next to his isolated cabin in the woods.  Walking toward the doorway, he paused, grumbling incoherently, as he fixed his gaze upon a section of a field several feet away.  Even at a distance he could plainly see the axe, sledgehammer, hatchet and numerous empty containers originally filled with both sulfuric and hydrochloric acid.    Despite the insects he felt, and was convinced ,were eating the very brain inside his head, angering him all the more, he made a mental note that tomorrow he needed to come up with a few precious dollars to purchase some bags of lye to finish a special task in the garden.  But no matter.  He had gone through this same routine, over and over again,  the partings, the separations, the breakups, the dissolved relationships.  He knew everything would get better, if he could just nail down some decent employment before the next time.  Jobs had been so hard to find since President Obama's failed policies and Affordable Care Act began spreading like a zombie virus set at force-feed, driving an insane nation even crazier.  Under this bunch in Washington, horror stories no longer confined their actions to the silver screen.