Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Playing the Ninth Hole

Truly, I was just fine with Pluto as a planet, the ninth, and in no humor for some smarty-pants science cartel to come along and alter the rules to disqualify its planetary status.  Hey, I possess three -- yes, one, two, three -- college credits in astronomy, a course which educated me in not spelling one specific planet as either Youranus or Yeranus, and I declare that Pluto must remain a planet, damn it, because I'm eminently qualified to say so.  But (sigh. . .) sorry, Clyde Tombaugh, rest in peace -- looks as though your astronomical legacy will shine on a little less brightly among your eminent colleagues with a decision which re-fried your precious discovery into a non-planet.  BUT let's not forget your famous UFO sighting, forever banishing debunkers all hopped up with bargain-basement assertions that astronomers never see UFOs.

Nevertheless, there are often consequences to drastic change.  For instance, the No. 9 decal appears more than ready to be slapped upon another heavenly body -- a possible mega-planet many times the size of Earth, which grazes lazily at the far fringes of our solar system, as yet unseen, but whose existence seems to cause perturbations among distant planets and other objects in the neighborhood.  Enter Planet X?  Every few tens of centuries, some believe, this mystery giant approaches the inner planetary system close enough to screw things up and cause comets and meteors to shower Earth and other targets with enough force to cause catastrophic reactions.  The sort of thing which bodes unwell both for you and your pet hamster.

This reminds me of Microsoft, progressing directly from the Windows 8 operating system to Windows 10, having stopped nowhere along the way to create a Windows 9.  One wonders, does nature abhor a numbered computer operating system vacuum?  Will something need to fill that empty space?

As for the sad story of poor, cold, demoted Pluto, its numeral forfeiture accounted for by the assumption that Planet X might easily assume a ninth spot in the solar system:  Should some predictions ring true, replacement conqueror Number Nine, like a home invader in the night, will eventually return to pillage planetary structures, while effortlessly extinguishing lives.

And yet, neither Sitchin nor Velikovsky will so much as bother to spin in  the fragmented remnants of their  graves.

Transgendered in the Can:   I like all kinds of music, but I never for a second thought Bruce Springsteen could sing a note, and since his career is pretty much seasoned out anyway, I guess it's only natural that he had to speak out to maintain some kind of relevance.  Um, not that the old guy writing this blog isn't in the same position.  However, enough about me. . .so ol' Bruce cancels a concert in North Carolina because he doesn't like the new laws regarding LGBT folk.  Feel good, Bruce?  And your fans, relieved of their dollars to attend an overpriced, nevertheless promised concert, victims of Springsteen's whim -- do they feel good? 

As for transgendered people insistent upon using bathroom facilities based upon their impression of self-gender, rather than physical birth gender, may we suggest that the first time a young child is sexually accosted by a man or woman only pretending to be transgendered in a public restroom, each and every legislator throughout the land who went along with this bathroom idiocy be sued to the gills.  We surely thirst not for an abundance of lawyers sitting idly on their hands in this nation, waiting for something useful to do.

Child abuse further defined:  University professors who fail to make students think, and instead spend classroom hours funneling wildly progressive thoughts and other national poison into hungry young brains are a disgrace.  While it's encouraging to see that tax-free university "endowments" which do little more than vegetate and reproduce themselves in the bank with only some or no benefit whatsoever to students are now being questioned, one may also suggest that it's high time to weed out college courses of dubious intellectual worth, such as this "studies" or that "studies."  But if students feel comfy taking courses which tend mainly to foster hatred by one group toward another, I guess that's what makes some folks happy.  Or are those called diversity classes?

Ted Cruz is right:  New Yorkers of firm mental capacity know exactly what Cruz meant about "New York values," and in no fashion was he condemning the person on the street.  He acknowledged in his own way that the state is lorded over by a governor and legislature whom one could almost swear bathe daily in fascism's waters.  Wha's up? Governor Andrew Cuomo, Democrat and megalomaniac presidential wannabe who couldn't be elected sun watcher without votes from millions of far-left NY City zombies, expressed his idiot-ology months ago when he declared publicly that there was no room in NY for conservatives, whom he labeled extreme.  Add the communist lovin' mayor of NY City and the far-left views of Sen. Schumer, and one gets the picture about NY State.  In no way did Ted Cruz intend to insult the people of New York, only its corrupt leadership and iron-fisted clampdown of citizens' freedoms.  Forget all the expensive and fancy TV commercials extolling some exotic "rebirth" of NY business -- people with sense continue to bail out of the progressives' poisoned state as fast as they can leave.  Cruz was just the reminder.

A smattering of protestors at Dartmouth  U. convinced the Library of Congress to no longer use the term, illegal aliens, opting instead for something prettier and less suggestive of the truth.  Talk about putting lipstick on a pig!  The tragedy here is that librarians, notoriously respectful of word definitions, let this happen in the American people's national library.

Egotists with law degrees go crazy:  Some 16 state attorneys-general are on the warpath for companies who deny the slippery pseudo-science of climate change (of the man-made variety particularly, we assume), looking to sue them into silence and submission.  Al Gore's busy little hands are involved with this thuggery, as seem to be those of Eric Holder wannabe, Loretta Lynch.  Meanwhile, the bitter chill of global warming has just exited  Northeast and mid-Atlantic regions of the United States, and we shudder to think what horrors the usual suspect alarmists will conjure as the spring and summer sun makes its routine presence known.

Legend of the "Panama Papers."  Funny how members of the leftist media and political class have rushed to say, see?  The rich and powerful hide their money and must be stopped!  Trouble is, most of the names revealed so far are mostly socialist dictators, politicians and the like, hardly just innocent businessmen and corporate leaders.  Now, suggestions that the CIA was involved in releasing names have surfaced.

Ah yes, the purity of using solar and wind energy across the land. . .despite the established fact that wind turbines and solar panels cut and burn many thousands of birds to death regularly.  This isn't technology, it's raw barbarism.

Texting while driving has increased greatly, despite efforts to curb the practice.  Why?  For one thing, people are tired of exposure to law after law after law.  Even the best legislation suffers when it's continuously piled on by those who bury us in unending stacks of threats and warnings.

"I want to drink your blood" remains the sentence I want legislated so every refugee arriving on our shores will need to speak these words into a recording device.  Then, once a year, we'll have a contest where citizen judges will determine voice winners best suited for a Dracula movie.  Why?  Just in case.

Zika peekaboo:  Government health officials declare the Zika virus "scarier" than they thought.  Watch out, ladies, if you become pregnant the men in your lives may well try to lock you up in the cellar for nine (didn't we start today's blog entry with this numeral?) months so's no mosquitos will threaten womb contents.  Bonus:  With official announcements that Zika is now the new ghost in the national haunted house, maybe a few less male organs will risk hooking up with female organs to produce offspring which ultimately nobody wants.  We love the do-gooders whose lives center around assuring a plethora of childbirth, but then expect somebody else to pay for this process from start to finish.  How many sad, mistreated and discarded street children do these folks want?

Political parties:  Their time and reason for existence has expired.  If only those dependent upon living a life of luxury in their midst would 'fess up and admit it. Should there be a country in need of saving here, neither the GOP nor the Democrat progressives can provide little more than a band-aid and worthless promises.