Yes, as surely as the moon comes over the mountain and the Democrats pass legislation like clockwork almost guaranteed to put you deeply into debt for years to come while pretending to be your friends, the best years of your lives -- school and college days -- claw at your doorstep.
Nearly gone are lazy afternoons lounging at the beach, contemplating a future sprinkled with nameless horrors as you paddle through waters infested with poisonous blue-green algae blooms. Quickly disappearing are summer parties with friends featuring deadly fentanyl-laced cocaine and some pretty fancy gunfire and stabbings among the dazed crowds. High on your mind are all that summer reading you were supposed to do for college classes, but couldn't because high school didn't teach you how to read. Not quite absent are your pustules from Monkeypox gone wild, acquired innocently one night when you engaged in sexual acrobatics with eight strangers, all at the same time.
Yes, boys, girls and a cascade of phony feel-good genders, forced education dictated significantly by Satan's minions at the U.S. Department of Education has returned, and it's coming for you.
With your welfare in mind, however, I've taken it upon myself to prepare a helpful list of things young college-bound people should know as you enter The System. Please note this disclaimer: I take no responsibility for the accuracy or intent of any of this. Why would I? This is all about conjecture, opinion and careless devotion to the published word. So read and consider the following at your own risk (risk is what people used to assume in olden times when one made their own choices and held nobody else accountable for their foolish actions, literally causing attorneys to die of starvation all across the country as a result). Ready? Okay. . .
o Immunizations and masks: Masks are an absurd touch to the ignorance demonstrated by official medical soothsayers, so we won't even go there. Now, yes, traditional immunizations are a great idea. However, to put it as kindly as possible, the U.S. government and its international medical counterparts seem to have muddled up everything when it came to Covid shots, the mRNA delivery system and additional injections. Which is to say, this drama was mostly a waste of big gov money, though the drug companies continue to get rich, very rich, on concoctions that don't quite fill the bill. We smell large lawsuits coming. When one reads articles from other countries in particular, the warning signs for side-effects for young people scream out. But don't listen to me, and anybody can easily point out that I'm no doctor. H o w e v e r! However -- don't fail to stay in touch with a Web site created and operated by REAL doctors at America's Frontline Doctors ( click here: americasfrontlinedoctors.org). Every day, you'll find new studies and new alerts written in language everybody can understand. In general, you may be frightened -- at the least, you may be angry as hell for what they have done to you with "the jab". Which many among the uninformed continue to insist you obtain at the risk of your student status or job. Bastards.
o Above all, make sure your teachers and professors are more concerned with showing you HOW to think than indoctrinating you politically into WHAT to think -- and beware that your well-documented and well thought-out writing isn't graded according primarily to reflect your professor's political bias. Of course, if you're a medical student, the WHAT to think is an exception, except for that eventual and troubling input from the American Medical Association, which fell head-first into critical race theory and telling physicians not to put genders on birth certificates anymore.
o When I began attending college shortly after leaving military service, I initially thought my radical leftist professors, few in number at that time, represented a freedom I had never known. It took many years before I realized that not all poisons come out of a bottle; some poisons, disguised in human form, manipulate curious minds in ultimately self and society destructive ways.
o While helping perform medical treatment for thousands of patients during my years in Air Force hospitals, I never once encountered more than two genders, those being male and female. That I even need to mention this indicates where our society stands today. As dedicated folk attempt to swing us back to a logical, thinking people, either join or start conservative groups to fight this gender madness on campus, and try to hold professors to task for imparting absurd constructs or outright fabrications. This could involve contacting college administration or board members. Everything on so many campuses is so crazy now that using logic seems as useless as battling fog with a sword. Unfortunately, student grades can be marked by bad as well as superb professors, and it can be difficult to know where the word, arbitrary, applies in academia currently.
o If it's WOKE it's a JOKE. Of course, the denizens of Wokeland, USA don't think so, but everybody else gifted with a functioning brain realizes wokeness is a concerted attempt by the left to destroy American values, traditions and capitalism as we know them. Mental illness may play a substantial role among the Woke generation.
o Hope that The Department of Education, Department of Energy and other government institutions bloated by unelected bureaucrats who regulate your life with no concern for or input from you -- and with no congressional authority to do so -- see termination sooner rather than later.
o Fraternity initiations: Plying freshmen with booze and drugs can be deadly, and then you can end up in prison where you get to have sex every night, except you won't be one of the five or six guys having it with you exclusively. Maybe a better option would be to have the new pledges spend a night in a small room soaked with the odor of cat urine, or perhaps make them listen to 24 hours of bad music accompanied by the sounds of fingernails scraping a blackboard. I can't really help on this issue, having never been in a fraternity, but I've every confidence that a group of brain-starved young frat boys will come up with an initiation plan. And it won't be pretty, no matter what.
o As you slouch over college desks, attempting to stay awake during those boring lectures imparted by stalwart professors, a small minority of whom probably yearn to get into your pants, be sure to contemplate your future. What about that college loan you took out, the one you'll never be able to pay back as the lending institution cuts off your parents' fingers one by one? And just what are you learning? Are you being prepared for the future, or will your education merely ready you for jobs that won't exist as artificial intelligence flips you the middle digital finger and says there's nothing here for you?
o Change your underwear at least once a semester. However, the duration between changes really shouldn't be a problem for your fellow students, as they remain engaged in their dorm room computer activities and only occasionally notice enough to ask, "What's that smell?" before returning to their screen activities, oblivious to reality.
o If you must plagiarize papers, remember that Joe Biden allegedly did the same thing while at Syracuse University, so apparently it's the patriotic thing to do. Just make sure you spell better than the people who write those often illiterate, misspelled crawls at the bottom of your TV screen during the nightly news.
o Too bad that people who know the carbon footprint/radical green stuff is the very essence of hidden agendas and ignorance are punished for expressing an opposing view. Campus dwellers who swallow the nonsense whilst simultaneously prohibiting speakers with divergent opinions from campus deserve no attention, allegiance or respect whatsoever. They are the clear and present danger who regard you as the same. Beware, but never sit down and shut up when confronted.
o Evidently, while you can develop mono and even die from meningitis or encephalitis by sharing a drink from your classmate's cup or straw, enjoying every kind of oral contact and sex imaginable on campus is encouraged by people who just live for a good time. You might want to put hormones aside and give that one some thought for a bit, and for gosh sakes buy your own drinks.
o At least once a month, collect your friends, parade off to your college president's office and demand to know why the endowment funds with which the institution is dripping aren't used to pay for most of your tuition.
o Your intended participation in college athletics: Wait a minute -- didn't you go to college to learn something?
o Exercise in general on campus: Beware of exercise, it may kill you. Jim Fixx is my beware-of-exercise hero.
o Your sense of humor: So, you think you're funny? Just know that campus leftists have absolutely no sense of humor, even less so when their existence is in the line of comedy fire or satire. Your professors who burn MAGA caps aren't likely to get a belly laugh over your barbs about Marxist governments, thoughts of which generally warm their hearts when they dream of collapsing America. Ditto humor about the stupidity of critical race theory or the actions and personal real estate purchases of the Black Lives Matter elite.
o Pronouns are not to be trifled with, to be grammatically incorrect. Ours is not a society warranted to surround and embrace the illogical, the demented or society's dark manipulators. Dictionaries were invented for a reason, as were the laws of grammar.
o Should things become dire and you feel it essential to dial up your campus's suicide hotline, remember that they will not respond to questions like, what's the best way? Should your problem be somebody whose actions are driving you to the thought of killing yourself, know that it's probably better to convince the subject of your emotional upset to take themselves out instead. Yeah, that one takes a little work.
o Finally, don't worry about watching the clock impaled on the classroom wall. It's already too late.
