Thursday, February 17, 2011

Egypt Unwrapped, Mummies Rejoice

(No UFO information today. . .but we do have Egypt in our sights as the world burns. Somehow, I don't think all of this will end well, but what do I know?)

Well, we'll see if the liberated people of Egypt
, intent upon a new country and lives drenched in freedom, find what they seek. O' course, we hope also that those new freedoms don't involve a radical element determined to cover Egypt's women from head to toe, whilst simultaneously honing beheading skills and conducting routine finger and hand disarticulations.

Obviously, with freedom comes choice, and with choice come freedoms previously unimagined. Unfortunately, there's also some indication that the particularly voiceless in Egypt will also embrace the absence of restraint: We're talking mummies here -- mummies, ancient Egyptians hankering to walk the streets again. Remember what the wise pharaohs knew all too well: What heals or awaits another life under the bandage can also fester under the bandage. And I'm betting that the mummified dead were none too happy centuries ago when their brains were extracted through their noses. Grumpy, who wouldn't be! Like zombies, mummies will likely be scavenging throughout the cities and countryside in search of new brains.

Here at the blog, we urge Egyptians to remain friends with the USA and to shun factions wishing to enslave Egypt's masses, but -- for the sake of global safety and your own lives -- please, we beg of you, on Election Day in Egypt, whenever it occurs, DO NOT vote for the PPMP (People's Progressive Mummy Party). Why make a bad situation much worse?

SPEAKING OF A BAD SITUATION: We wish to praise that courageous Egyptian TV journalist who resigned from her job rather than report lies fed from the ruling party. Even more striking was the sight of American TV reporters, whose words often appear heavily scripted to politically pretty up, disregard or condemn the truth every day, openly admiring her position. We sure would like to see Brian, Diane or Katie announce some evening: "And before we leave you tonight, I want you sheep to know that much of what we feed you on these newscasts is slanted, irrelevant, meaningless, presumptuous and hardly worth a rat's butt, and most of what you see here in high def is about as nutritious for your mind as poisoned Chinese dog food. I can't do this anymore and I resign, effective immediately. Thank you for tuning in here night after tedious night. Have a good evening, and keep grazing right here on your local station."