Dear Honored Chinese Communist Rat-Bastards,
First, I address you accordingly because, to me, every year under Chinese communist control is the
Year of the Rat. When one thinks of the versatile rat species, how may one not think fondly of such leaders as mass-murderer Chairman Mao Tse-tung and, of course, all of those monsters who succeeded his years? The current, whose name escapes me -- oh, wait, I think it's Chairman Xi Xi Poon or some such.
By the way, how can Taiwan not be its own country? Does China have an economic penis envy problem or something? They got it, so you want it? Taiwan is doing just fine.
But really, why bother with Taiwan when you can have the whole USA?
Your party must be thrilled now that a significant portion of American voters, despite possible widespread election fraud, seem to have voted for President Biden over Donald Trump. Though Trump was kicking your manipulative asses but good, it must be a relief now to see your old buddy Joe Biden in office, he and his son having possibly engaged in certain capitalist actions relating to your country in the past. So far, Mr. Biden appears to be backing away from harsh action against or criticism of China like a guilty puppy caught urinating on the rug. You know what puppies are, of course -- people of your culture torture, cook and serve these loving and loyal little critters for dinner in fine restaurants when a snake-roast, rat souffle' or bat-kabobs just won't satisfy the ravenous family.
Speaking of bat cuisine and other Chinese wet marketplace delicacies, how about that super lab in Wuhan? A marvel indeed, probably capable of hiding biological specimens smaller than, say, a human hair plucked from the head of a Chinese concentration (oops, make that re-education) camp Uighur murdered for organ donations. You know what? I'll bet you can even mix and match experimental biological organisms there, seeing as how you Chinese folk keep that place so undisturbed. In fact, that was pretty smart of you, directing international Covid-19 investigators away from everything they needed to know about the lab and other strategic areas. If only my country, the USA, could be so devious. All we have is (sigh...) Area 51.
If we Americans were smart like we used to be, we would simply tell you that if you don't allow full, unencumbered inspections of the Wuhan facility and associated areas we're canceling all debt owed you by the USA. What would you do, start a war? As if. That's already underway via China's Great Wall of the Internet. And aren't you already fighting us with the World Health Organization, staffed by money-grabbing China sympathizers whose appetite for U.S. currency donations has no boundaries?
But I shouldn't go on and on like this. There was a reason for writing and the reason is to ask: Why aren't you invading the United States right now? Why not just walk on in like everybody else? You know you want it. Heck, you already have the support of American high-tech companies showing you how to spy on your own people, so just imagine what they can do for you right here. And don't forget Hollywood liberals, they have the means and money to get you anything you want. Well, that's aside from the fact that they already have to make movies according to Chinese communist standards, and the next time we see a "
Superman" movie having old Supe proudly mouth the words,
"truth, justice and the American way" will be a cold day in hell (sorry, didn't mean to describe your prison system).
Relax! We're talking Biden leadership now and, as you might suspect, a significant number of voters who hated Trump enough to vote for this jackass administration won't even notice if you take over our government. Actually, you'll be teaching a history lesson to those who think there's no way that a brutal, slave-operated plantation could ever again organize in the U.S., 'cept this time the slave-master will be named General Ho or Hoo or something.
BONUS for you: As China wildly increases its military abilities and construction of terrible weapons, the Biden bunch desires Pentagon cuts, seemingly trying to appease idiot supporters who want us green, not mean. So go ahead, China, keep building weapons and two coal plants every week and we'll fight your weapons with contrived evidence of climate change and the words of that disturbed child who, I think, is named
Greta Goosepimple. Just see what that gets you.
Then again, you're already taking in lucrative contracts to produce landfill-unfriendly solar panels and wind turbines, both the greatest wildlife killers and environmental blights conceivable. Anti-American weaponry can assume the strangest forms, can't it?
Oh, that reminds me: Numerous retired military commanders just signed a petition warning of dire consequences if the military continues to go soft and way, way left. Meanwhile, the commander of the U.S. Space Force was fired by the Biden syndicate when he dared warn of Marxism creeping into the government. Which it has, is and apparently will continue. Thrilling, yes?
While you Chinese bolster your conquering capabilities, we in the USA are infusing our military with diversity classes, critical race theory, intensive reverse racism intended to cure racism, and the "1619 Project," seemingly enough to scare off any Chinese military threat, hmm, but maybe not. Our military morale under the Biden syndicate is said to be at rock-bottom in some areas. I don't know whether this is true, but as you walk through the gates of U.S. military bases all over the world, don't be intimidated by transgendered and pregnant soldiers who might or might not have time to shoot you dead as they remain busily consumed with demanding outlandish rights.
You Chinese commie folks must understand, we can't bother much with national security, for we're hard at work here in the USA "re-imagining" everything that was stable and good for the nation. In fact, all of this sounds like a future Disney attraction that could be called Re-Imagine Land. If Covid-19 shut-downs didn't increase mental illness in the USA, the Biden bunch's campaign to tear down everything that worked in our country's favor with Trump's name on it is finishing the job. Anyway, maybe you'll want to wait to invade after all, because by the time millions of people from all nature of evil countries invade the USA via open Joe Biden and Marxist-dominated borders, China will have forced child and adult slave labor for the picking, just like in the homeland.
Fortunately for you, the Biden gaggle has also done everything it can to strengthen the labor unions, and since anonymous union member voting will soon be a thing of the past, communist infiltrators and union bosses will have no trouble weeding out troublemakers and potentially reluctant organ donors. America is sweet. If this isn't enough, keep in mind that the Biden admin hosts plenty of unelected regulators who scurry around in the background like rats (again, I bow to your communist species), writing stupid and politically motivated regulations for which we, by, of and for the people have absolutely no recourse. I believe the word amongst Democrat regulators to make us do things we don't want to do is to "nudge" us along, little by little. You know, the old frog immersed at first comfortably in the increasingly warmer and eventually boiling water kettle thing?
It may surprise you to know that I'm former U.S. military myself, but that was way back during those annoying Vietnam years when your input with the North made my job a little harder in the states, a time when the U.S. military could train its people on a dime to accomplish various tasks expertly and quickly. While I still maintain the utmost respect for my military folk, I've come to fear as of this past January that under orders from on high their leadership will become no better than mental food poisoning, as we currently watch the best and the brightest depart military service in protest.
And hey, China, don't worry about our local police departments and sheriffs. City and state legislators are making it really easy for cop-haters and criminals to waltz on in and accomplish illegal goals with little chance of consequences. I'm sure foreign nationals are just as welcome in our (mostly traditional Democrat-run) cities as any domestic practitioners of evil.
Oh, and if you're worried about compliance, don't be. Since the very day you most likely, under whatever circumstances, loosed Covid-19 on the world, our U.S. citizens and illegal aliens have been just super about allowing untested and occasionally (?) problematic vaccines pushed by government know-nothings to enter their bodies. At this point, Americans would probably accept forced sodomy if some nebbish representative from the CDC said it would protect them from vampire attacks. In any case, we now have compliant "pod people" as if from the movie, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" who will recoil in horror at the mere sight of Americans who refuse vaccinations -- but a little Chi-comm influence will probably work wonders when you walk on in to provide -- what are the words? Oh yes -- a little hope and change.
Yes indeed, aside from radical Democrats and leftist-permissive Republicans (often known as RINOs), a major threat to America is you, China -- you know, the fun-loving, rollicking communist-infested nation whose Wuhan lab or Bats-a-Lot Street Shopping Mart released the Covid-19 virus, and then didn't, and then did again, maybe, probably, could be. The dare-not-speak-his-name former President Donald Trump was handling China and so many other affairs to put and keep "America first," but the Biden syndicate, like so many other things, is ignoring the Chinese menace like dog poop on a shoe. Will we stand by Taiwan when (not if) you decide to invade and acquire Taiwan -- likely to be followed by other major global acquisitions if not stopped? Oh yes, China, this is your time.
Besides, the Washington legislative branch is too wrapped up in assigning blame for January six's riot at the nation's Capitol and weeding right-leaning military enlistees out of the military services than to be worried about China. Speaking of January 6, who needs a new government study? University professors, other pod-people leftists and the corporate media would have us believe this was an armed "insurrection." It was not and could not be because there was no plan to take over the country and -- most essential -- these people carried no firepower at all. While this exercise in wanton destruction, probably with the help of text messaging and half-baked ideology, was deserved of arrests and court cases, we have come to think that perhaps this chaotic activity was rather premonitory regarding the terror shortly to slither over the political horizon known as the Biden syndicate and its radical and progressive serpents of national destruction. . .and an invitation to Chinese communists as they witnessed one more weakness in American security.
China, I suspect you know that your greatest, yet difficult to find enemy in the USA is real political conservatives: The only political party remotely able to save traditional America. That's why Democrats and even the RINO class will do anything to sweep them out of the way, with your assistance, of course. It's absolutely amazing how Democrats have been able to twist the history of racism in this country from a purely Democrat creation to a creature of the political right. When one talks of Jim Crow, the KKK, black lynchings, the destruction of the Tulsa OK "Black Wall Street" community in 1921 and denial of civil rights legislation even as recently as the 1960s, these outrages should be emphasized as purely Democrat in origin and practice. True fiscal conservatives and conservative thinking in general reflects American Values as they were intended for all people, whereas progressives of other parties will destroy America and its freedoms if you, China, don't get there first to complete the job.
EXTRA BONUS: China, if you invade now you'll have the assistance of
Black Lives Matter Inc. This admittedly Marxist organization, desirous of destroying Western Civilization and the nuclear family -- and the beneficiary of millions of dollars from U.S. corporations too pathetically "woke" to care where their money was going -- is obviously a gift, just your ticket to overtaking America's constitutional democracy. Law enforcement? Neutered like a puppy, and we've already discussed what you do to puppies.
I really hate to say this, China, but America's schools, colleges and universities are ready to welcome you with open arms. After all, they teach what you teach. And if one wishes to throw child abuse into the conversation, that doesn't merely represent child labor in China, abuse is also what young American minds endure under the fetid guidance of professors who teach how to despise America in one easy semester.
Of course, you don't care about the eternal Israel vs. Palestinians dust-up: The Palestinians have had opportunity after opportunity, probably the best when Arafat was involved and was offered almost everything he wanted (which he rejected), to settle this Middle East matter. Unfortunately, with Hamas and other murderers in the mix, that's why we end up with thousands of rockets sent off to Israel. . .again. The Biden syndicate intends to send millions of our dollars to the Palestinians to help clean up the destruction their militant slime-balls are actually responsible for. Personally, I'd rather my tax money be directed to building a nursing home for elderly sewer rats (you again, sorry). In the absence of U.S. military strength, I guess China could just turn everything over to Iran, its future puppet.
Now that the American Medical Association has decided to go all out for critical race theory, in a nutshell the question must be asked: Does anybody really want surgery performed by medical personnel hired because of race and not so much for education or qualifications? We hope doctors across the nation will reject this utter nonsense, which is one more assault on one's guaranteed personal power, but under Chinese communist guidance I'm sure medical decisions will be fair and balanced. As they relate to China's government.
Big media, Big Tech and seemingly Big Everybody are doing whatever it takes to protect Prez Biden as he stumbles along, making executive orders and statements suitable to promote, apparently, an intentionally failing government. Meanwhile, NY City's corrupt government pursues Donald Trump because the very thought of his return as President gives them the vapors. These sources, too, should prove extraordinarily helpful to help China gain a lasting foothold in the fading USA.
About that NY City Trump investigation: Of course they investigate, down in the evil pit of NY City. Will "they" find anything? Of course. The Proper Authorities do not want Trump running for President again, and he's going to look pretty good by the end of a few more weeks of Biden and Co.
Nevertheless, I think you Chinese communist folk are pretty much satisfied with the way things are right now, and unless elections salvage and revitalize what remains of America after four years of progressive damage, we'll be a pushover. I guess, one way or another, we could be seeing you real soon.